Lady Julia’s Entranced Realm

You’ve asked me to punish you whenever you do something that displeases me.

To be honest, that’s not a concept I can really grasp.  Why wouldn’t you just do what I ask you to if you want to please me and if you really want me to be in charge?  You’re an adult, so it seems as if you would stand up, be accountable and do what needs to be done.

Still, I understand that we don’t think the same way about things.  You feel punishment is something you need – that it is necessary for me to control you.  If that’s the case, then I will do that.  After all, I agreed to meet you at least halfway as often as possible.  Eventually, if I do this, I may better understand the differences in our needs and philosophies.

So, I will punish you.  Whenever you do something that displeases me, first we will talk.  You’ll explain what happened and then I will decide if punishment is warranted.   If I determine it is, I will then withdraw from you the things you really enjoy.  Until I decide it is time for the punishment to end, there will be no kinky play, no sex, no serving me in those fun and pleasurable ways.   I will not say any of those little things that push your buttons in a super sexy way.  I will do nothing to deliberately turn you on.  It’s a shame, really, because you will also be robbing me of the pleasure of doing all those things.  I’ll make do with things that aren’t you – a vibe or something similar – but you won’t be a part of it in any way.

Most of all, you will know how much you have disappointed me.

I know by refusing to spank you or in some other way physically punish you that I am flying in the face of “traditional” Femdom, but we both know on at least some level, you would enjoy that. To me, it’s not logical to give you what you want as a reward for disappointing me.

That doesn’t that mean spanking and other forms of kinky “punishment” are completely off the table – they’re simply reserved for a good boy who pleases me by doing his best.

(This post is a continuation of my “if I were a vanilla woman and my partner wanted me to dominate him and/or be the boss” series.)

I’m really beginning to enjoy myself with you.

Watching you kneel to taste me.  Feeling your hands caressing the soft curves of my behind.  Seeing my wetness on your face after your lips and your tongue work together to bring me to climax.  Leaning forward and running my own tongue along your lips to taste myself.  Yes.. I love that.

Tying your wrists and ankles to the bedframe with soft, silky scarves.  Leaving you aching and unable to touch.  Providing you with the perfect view to watch as I slowly remove my clothing and allow my fingers to caress each newly exposed area of flesh.  Laughing in delight as you futilely strain to touch after seeing my fingers stroke the softness between my thighs.  Moaning with abandon as my body arches in release while you remain controlled by my silky softness – controlled and denied.   Mmm… yes, I love that.

Slipping my finger inside my warm wetness.  Smiling at your helpless form lying on the bed, your arms and your legs still bound.   Running my sweetly-coated finger along the tip of your hardness.  Laughing yet again in delight as your body stiffens and you pull against the scarves, your cock jerking in response.   Teasing and stroking til you are begging for release.  Wanting it but not wanting it – your mind consumed with that delicious confusion.  Standing, kissing your cock – your cock that is now my cock – then turning and leaving the room.  Glancing over my shoulder as I do to see the surprised, helpless, and completely aroused look on your face.  Oh yes.. I love that.

It’s easy to love doing these things with you because I feel sexy when I am with you.  You let me know in so many ways that it is me you desire -  not the kink, not the control – just me.  That’s really important to me.  If you are only interested in the kink and the control, then what makes me any different than a prostitute or a professional Dominatrix?   I admit it took awhile in the beginning for me to feel sexy when doing new things.  After all, I’m older and not as fit as I was when I was 20.  Your loving attention and appreciation for my body and the things we do have helped me grow in confidence.

It also helped that you didn’t present me with a really far out list of things you wanted.   I know you want those things but to expect me to go so far so fast is totally unrealistic and completely unfair.  It’s much better if you are patient and let me move forward at my own pace. 

Some of the things you want are things that I will probably never be able to do.  I know that’s difficult to hear, but it’s not fair for me to tell you I will when I know deep down inside I can’t or won’t.  I will do some of the things you desire when I choose and when I desire them as well.  As time goes by I will probably do more because my confidence and comfort level will grow.  Please don’t push me or try to manipulate me as that only undermines what you say you really want – for me to be in control.

In the end, we each will have to give a little to find a place where we can both enjoy what we have.  I’m willing to do that and I hope you are as well.

(This post is a continuation of my “if I were a vanilla woman and my partner wanted me to dominate him and/or be the boss” series.)

When my teasing excites you so much that you are taken to your knees, begging – cock hard and your entire being wanting – it’s sometimes difficult to even think because my arousal is so strong.  All I can do is feel.. feel the quickening of my breath, the hardness of my nipples, and the wetness between my thighs.

I love controlling your body and your mind in every way.  Even now as I think about it, I pause to touch so that my body can feel the pleasure that already crowds my mind.

Mmm.

Still, I need for you to know that your surrender isn’t all about sex.  It’s not just about controlling your cock or being pleasured by you.  That’s a big part of it, yes, but I need other things from you as well.

I need to be wooed and I need to be served (and I’m not referring to cleaning the house or doing the laundry).  Sometimes I will tell you what I want and sometimes – well sometimes you’re just going to have to use that brilliant mind of yours to think of ways to please me :)   Learn about me and the things that interest me.  Do things for me that are related to what I like even if they do absolutely nothing for you (after all, I’m sure you’ll feel pleasure from pleasing me, won’t you?).  If you aren’t sure if something will please me, ask.  I’ll be certain to let you know how appreciative I am of your initiative ;)

(This post is a continuation of my “if I were a vanilla woman and my partner wanted me to dominate him and/or be the boss” series.)

(This post is a continuation of my “if I were a vanilla woman and my partner wanted me to dominate him and/or be the boss” series.)

It’s ok that sometimes it’s about you.  That’s normal, healthy, and if I love you then that’s how I want it to be.  If it’s always or almost always about what you want and need, then something is obviously missing.  I’m going to be resentful at best and eventually angry and bitter if you persist.  Who could blame me?

Do you know what I want?  Not what want me to want, not what you think I should want, but do you know what I really want?   If you do know – if you are sure that you know – have you given it to me?  If not, why?  If you truly want a Femdom or Female Led Relationship (FLR) and not just to have your own buttons pushed, then you will have asked me and actually listened to my response.  In fact, before you tell me all the things you want me to do to and for you, all the things you want to change about our relationship, understand I’ll listen better if you ask me first about my wants and needs. If you are going to submit to my control, then being most concerned about what I want is your job.   Trust me to be concerned about what you want because doing so is my job.

Additionally, once we begin our Femdom or FLR  if you lose focus and it becomes all about you, things are almost certainly doomed to fail.

A few signs it’s all about you:

• Most of the “relationship conversation”  and energy is centered on what you want and need and why I should give it to you.
• You see everything through you-colored glasses, so even when it is about me, it’s still really about you (ie, how I can benefit from giving you what you want, how well I am or am not doing in giving you what you want, etc.).
• When you are given a task or agree to doing something for me, you forget, have to be reminded, or just do not do it.

As your lady – the one you say you want to be in control – let me be concerned about all things you.  If you make me happy, I’ll want you to have the things you need and much of what you want within my abilities to give them to you.   All I ask is you do your best as well.

~ ~

Remember, I’m not saying this is what every woman will feel or should behave, nor am I saying anyone should or shouldn’t pursue things in this way.  It’s how I think I would react and what would work for me.  Your mileage may vary.

I’d like to make it clear that I am not suggesting there is anything wrong with a man sharing his needs with his partner.   I’m merely suggesting he might wish to consider how he approaches the situation and that he makes certain to consider her feelings as well.

(I added this note to the original post as apparently I did not make myself clear.  I wanted to make a separate post to make certain my comment was noted by those who had already read yesterday’s entry.)