Over the years I’ve heard a large number of women share stories about faking orgasms, but the subject of men and faux orgasms is one that is seldom mentioned. Many of the ladies I know think men simply don’t fake it, but I don’t believe that to be the case. Recently I read survey results indicating as many as 25 percent of men have misled their partners regarding this issue. I wonder at the accuracy of that number but even more than that, I wonder about the age range of men who said “yes” and the “whys” behind it all.

Because I’m ever curious, I thought I would see what all of you had to say on this subject. I’ve created a completely anonymous survey that will only take a few minutes to complete. And.. bonus.. it will please me so much to find that you were willing to respond ;)

The survey can be found here.

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Men and Fake Orgasms is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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If you were to pick one part of the human body as the one you found the sexiest, which would it be?

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Parts and Other Parts is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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“While 75 percent of men always reach orgasm during sex, only 29 percent of women report the same. In addition, most women are unable to climax through vaginal intercourse, instead needing clitoral stimulation.” – National Health and Social Life Survey

Thank heavens I’m a Domme.

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Happy To Be In This Minority is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Willie shared this in response to yesterday’s post on sexual selfishness:

Whenever we mistake ‘needs’ for ‘wants’, we lose reality.
Whenever we project onto others ‘wants’ and declare them ‘rights’, we abuse reality.
When we step into abuse, we have lost all wisdom.
When we lose our wisdom, it’s time to seek help in discovering our mistaken self.

Wonderfully stated, Willie.

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More on Sexual Selfishness is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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I follow quite a few blogs written by men who profess a desire to be submissive to their vanilla or even submissive wives.  As a rule, they began their blogs with the story of how they convinced their wives to “dominate” them or how they are attempting to persuade them to do so.

Some of these men try so hard to make their “female led” relationship as positive for their spouse as possible.  They seem to want to make it about her more than anything else.  For the most part these blogs fade away because the attempt fails.  Usually the woman is not interested or only marginally makes an effort to understand her spouse’s needs.

Others set out to “convince” (guilt) their wives into “dominating” them so that all the male’s sexual needs can be met.   The woman’s comfort level and needs are usually very secondary to the intense needs of her partner.  (I read recently where a submissive suggested he be “punished” by not being allowed to give his wife orgasms for a week.  Umm.. who is being punished here?  Perhaps him.. but wouldn’t she be punishing herself as well??)  These forays into “femdom” relationships seem to last longer but eventually, most reports of these efforts seem to disappear as well.

In both these scenarios it seems to me that there is one partner being sexually selfish, however the thought that they are being selfish seldom seems to flit across their minds.  Why?  Perhaps they feel there’s “nothing” they can do… but is that true?  Perhaps they don’t care.  Selfish people often don’t.  Or perhaps they’re just a bit clueless.

Clues that someone is being sexually selfish?

• An unwillingness to discuss their partner’s needs on more than the most superficial level.  Putting the discussion off for as long as possible.
• Making few if any attempts to carry out their partner’s suggestions or meet their requests.
• Beginning any discussion of sexual needs or changes with the word “I” and generally keeping it there.
• Utilizing guilt to get what they want.
• An unwillingness to accept when a request really isn’t something their partner feels comfortable doing.

There are others, I’m sure.  I realize these should be obvious to anyone, but I really don’t think they are to some people.

In the end, I believe a relationship in which one partner is sexually selfish is doomed to fail.  Oh, they may stay together, but neither will be happy.  Perhaps it would be better to meet somewhere in the middle rather than to lose everything.

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How To Know If You Are Sexually Selfish is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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If you’ve stopped by my blog very often, you will have noticed that I post a large number of photos of traditionally gorgeous people.   While it’s true that those photos are pleasant to view, I don’t want it to appear that I think the “perfect” bodies and faces are the only ones I consider sexy.  In truth, they aren’t even the ones I consider “most” attractive.

Earlier in the week, I spent some time watching the movie “A Knight’s Tale”, a perfectly delightful film starring, among others, Mark Addy (pictured above).  You may notice that I lumped Heath Ledger into the “among others” category and singled out Mr. Addy.  While Heath was certainly a very handsome young man, I found Mark to be much more attactive.

Yes, he’s a bit overweight.  Yes, he’s losing a bit of his hair and he’s older.  And yes, he has gorgeous eyes, a great smile, and that lovely beard.  Yum.  I can easily imagine someone like him serving me  while wearing only a chef’s apron or perhaps kneeling naked and eager to please.  Definitely a flush producing thought ;)

Even better than his general physical attractiveness was his character’s personality.  He was loyal, tender, and funny – all qualities that I consider very sexy.

We’re accustomed to many women in our society having issues with their self-image because they’re not 25, not pencil thin, do not possess a gorgeous face, etc.  I’ve noticed lately that many of the men I know – really sexy men – are dealing with the same issues.  They cannot see how sexy they really are and I find that so sad.

I definitely do not fit into the “perfect” size and face category.  I’m 47, not 25.  I’m a bit chubby, not pencil thin.  I have an average face, not a gorgeous one.  For a number of years it was work to feel confident about myself because I didn’t meet the Hollywood norm for sexual attractiveness.  Eventually I found that there were men who had a broader definition of the drool-worthy woman than the one presented by the entertainment industry.  Thanks to them, I learned to relax and like myself more.  It’s decidedly easier to feel sexy and be sexy when you’re relaxed and like yourself a little ;)

So.. I’m writing this to all those who might be reading and who consider themselves less than attractive.  I can’t speak for anyone other than myself, but I find bald or balding men sexy.  I think big guys are sexy.   I love older men.  That doesn’t mean I don’t find someone with nice hair and great abs attractive ;)  I’m just saying there’s lots more to sexy than the stereotypes and I’m absolutely certain I’m not alone in this belief.

I realize this is hardly a startling revelation, but I think until more people accept it, it bears repeating.  I believe when we learn to be confident (not arrogant) and see ourselves as sexy – others will too.  Odds are there are already others who see us that way but they’re difficult to find if we lack the confidence to look.

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Tushes, Abs, and What I Think is Really Sexy is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Just Thinking…. is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Three posts in one day.  Seems I have a bit on my mind :)

I was talking with a friend earlier about my previous post, “The Internet or Sex – Which Will It Be?“.  When I remarked that I really had difficulty believing that 39 percent of males ages 18-34 would choose the internet over sex, he reminded me how strongly many people’s sexual lives were impacted by the internet.  Clearly the things available online can be a driving force in masturbation fantasies.

After thinking a bit, I wondered how many people felt masturbation was just as good or better than sex.  As a general rule, do you?  (Yes, of course there are exceptions and many factors to take in consideration.  I’m just curious which you’d choose over the other if you had to choose.)

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Masturbation or Sex? is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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I know this is my second post today, but I couldn’t let Terrific Tush Tuesday pass unnoticed ;)  And since I was posting again anyway… just had to share this with you:

According to a recent YouGov survey, window shopping and gossiping didn’t rate as highly as sex in the “free activity” category.  I’m astounded to know they had to survey 2000 people to determine this.

Straight away I must question the validity of the numbers.  Of the Scots surveyed, 43 percent said oh yes, sex was their favorite of the free activities listed.  Doesn’t that make you wonder else made the list??  Only 35 percent of those living in Southern England deemed sex as numero uno.  I absolutely do not believe this is a valid survey – I have some very hot, very amorous English friends and I cannot imagine what would rank higher than sex for them ;)

More women surveyed apparently preferred sharing the scoop to sex (oh my, what does that say???) while men said, “Sex please!”

Wouldn’t you hate to be the person conducting one of these surveys?  If I were doing it via the phone or in person, I do not think I could keep the incredulity from my voice  or face when I heard someone say, “Oh yes, I got these perfectly gorgeous earrings on sale at Neiman-Marcus.  That’s sooooo much better than having sex!”  I think I would be forced to shift directly into advice-rendering mode ;)

- Lady Julia

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Sex Ranks Higher Than Shopping and Gossiping – For Some is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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“At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: give little, give seldom, and above all give grudgingly.” –RUTH SMYTHERS, Instruction and Advice for the Young Bride (1894)

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Beware ;) is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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