Archive for the ‘Simple Dominance’ Category

Simple Dominance

Saturday, February 6th, 2010


Not too long ago I introduced “Simple Dominance“, a blog designed for those women who are new to or are considering a Femdom / Female Led Relationship. While many profess that “real” Dommes are “naturals” and that dominance requires no effort on the part of these paragons, I have found that most of us can use a little help from time to time.

I’ve written a few pieces and will continue to write as time permits and inspiration strikes. My hope is that some of you will be interested in participating as well. If contributing appeals to you, please contact me. I have a pretty firm idea about the tone and direction I want the blog to take, so please don’t be offended if I don’t accept all submissions or ideas for publication.

In addition to writers, I’m looking for some people who will volunteer to respond to questions I post there. Clearly not everyone will have answers to every question, but I think those who desire to help will find they have responses for most questions. My goal is to offer insight into how the minds of some dominants and submissives work. Clearly no one answer will “fit” with anyone else, but I believe these response will offer food for thought.

Currently I am hoping some of you will respond to this question.

Even though this site is designed for dominant women, I suspect my style of presentation will occasionally appeal to the fellas who read there ;)

Randomness for January 11th

Monday, January 11th, 2010

(Image from photosight.ru)



As I lie here all comfy and warm, I find myself thinking that even though my day was long and I’m quite tired, it was a really good day. I suppose it’s that satisfied tired that comes with knowing you’ve achieved some of your goals.

Several days ago I resumed my workouts at the gym. Sometimes it’s difficult to find the time, but I’ve decided there are some things I am going to have to *make* time for and that’s one of them.

Today as I was lying back on the exercise bench, I began thinking about what a great place a gym is. I need several of those pieces of equipment in my house :) For example, that exercise bench. Having him lie his beautiful, naked body* back on that bench, tying his wrists up over his head, and teasing him. Fingers traveling over his body, watching him tighten with excitement, hearing his breathing quicken, feeling his cock stiffen. My body responding to having him there, helpless and aching. I can think of a couple of different ways he can please me, can’t you? ;)

I think I’m going to have to persuade Bill he really doesn’t need that workshop in his garage. I need my *own* “workshop” ;) Who cares if it’s his house and I work for him? There are just some things a woman has to have!

Along with the lovely fantasies and exercise, I made a concerted effort to follow through on one of my recent resolves (no, not a New Year’s resolution – those are simply anticipated failures for most people). I am trying to share the nice thoughts I have about people as often as I can. I’ve always believed people are too quick to say the negative things and are stingy about the good things. It takes so little to text, for example, and say “hey – I think you’re sexy and I’m so glad you’re in my life”. How often are most people told how sexy they are? Not enough, I’m sure.

I also had a funny run-in with Richard today. I was in the kitchen fixing dinner, bending over to pull a pan out of the drawer at the bottom of the stove, when he came in. Now I know it’s more lady-like to squat but hey – it’s a lot more fun sometimes to bend – it gives one’s male acquaintances something to appreciate ;) He stopped for a moment and initially didn’t say anything. Finally he remarked – in quite the sassy tone, I will add – that he would be more inclined to “submit” to being a kitchen houseboy if he knew the view was so good. Richard is so not submissive so his remark was cheeky to say the least (smiles). Without thinking, I tossed over my shoulder that his sassy self could kiss my behind. He laughed and I thought that would be the end of it. As I stood at the sink, I heard a motion behind me, turned, and found him kneeling on the floor, his lips inches from my bottom. “Only ask for what you want, Missy.” He didn’t cross the line and totally misbehave, but – the cheek! Sass like that cannot go unpunished, can it? Let the plotting begin.. ;)

And finally in the “what’s going on in Lady Julia’s world” department, I’ve been doing some work on a new site called “Simple Dominance“. It’s primarily designed for women who are new to the idea of dominance and feel a bit overwhelmed by that “what do I do now” feeling that strike most of us hard in the beginning and occasionally rears its head even as we mature as Dommes. It’s my hope that I can create a place where dominant women feel a bond and gather naughty, exciting, evil cowgirl-like ideas. There’s often a lot of competitive feelings among women, but that seems especially true for dominant women. While I do a lot of writing with male readers in mind, it would be lovely to have a place where the ladies can share ideas. I may even begin some type of forum if I can figure out where to add something else a little time consuming to my life.

At the moment there’s not much there because I’m trying to write fresh articles and not simply copy and paste what I’ve done before. If you are interested in sharing some ideas with me (whether you are male or female), I’d be happy to post any that seem as if they fit with my theme for the site. (I’m trying to stay away from the extreme as I don’t want to really frighten someone taking their first steps). Not everything submitted will be posted, but I will, as always, appreciate any efforts :)

There’s more to tell, but all that will have to wait for another time.

Sweet dreams :)

~ Lady Julia

~ ~
* Many body shapes and sizes are beautiful to me. It’s the entire man that excites me.

Confessions… Under the Table

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

I’d like for you to move in a little closer.  That’s right.  Close enough for a nice, intimate conversation with me.  Very good.  I’m always pleased when I know I have your total attention ;)

It’s time for “Confessions”.  It’s a simple little game, really.  Consider the photo.  Does it stir memories?  If not, surely it stirs a fantasy or two.  I’ll share mine and of course, you’ll share yours.  Now… I’d be more pleased if you shared a few details, but I will settle for “did it”, “want to do it”, “don’t have the nerve to do it but dream about it”, “seriously I would never do that”,, etc.

Just so you understand that I’d receive the most pleasure from reading the details…

For me, an under the table moment like this falls in the category of “did it on more than one occasion”, “want to do it again”, and “it excites me right now to think about it”.

The best part of moments like this is watching his face, especially if he isn’t expecting it at all.  I quite enjoy sitting in a restaurant, keeping a very straight face while talking about something totally unrelated, and sliding my foot onto his lap.  It’s priceless to do this when the wait staff are present and taking his order.  To watch his face redden, to see him squirm a bit.. and best of all to feel his body respond… yum.

It’s also lovely to be sitting at home watching a movie, having told him he is frozen and may not move, and finding myself caressing him in this manner.  It’s a test really… how long can I concentrate on the movie when I feel him harden and hear his breathing quicken?

Simple Orgasm Control – The Text Message Tease

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

It’s been a really busy day today.  Doctor’s office visit (boo, I’m sick again), shopping, going to the bank, and so on.  In spite of all that, I’ve been in that mood.  You know the mood – the one that means I’m going to do something fun and sexy to someone.

Text messaging.   That was it.  Fun, sexy, and quick so I could fit it in between the doctor’s exam and shopping :)

“Today every time you go to the restroom, tease yourself for a minute or so.  While you’re doing it, think about how lovely it feels to be controlled.  You may not release today.”

Short, simple, and every time I thought about it I knew it would turn me on.

So – I sent out the message.

The reply?

“Um… ok… but I think you have the wrong number.”

I was embarrassed (although admittedly only a little) and turned on at the same time.

“I’m so sorry.  I apparently added an extra number and got you by mistake.  I meant that text for a friend.”

“Lucky bastard.”

Ok, I admit I should have stopped there, but the evil cowgirl in me took over.

“Well, you could always follow the instructions… “

“Yeah?  Then what?”

“Then you’d be a lucky fella too?”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it.”

“I’ll take it!  Thank you for making my day.  :-)”

Ok.. you tell me.  Is it more likely that out of all the wrong numbers in the world I would just happen to text a guy who is submissive or would something like that be appealing to most men because it has a sexual flavor to it?

Simple Dominance: Orgasm Control, Tease and Denial

Wednesday, December 10th, 2008

Recently Jake asked,

Do you think you could give more examples of what you do when you dominate? I’m not trying to get personal I only want something that my wife could get ideas from.

I’m always hesitant about responding to things like this because I don’t want to give advice.  What works for me works for me; it won’t necessarily work for someone else.  What I do with one person might not be the same thing I would do with another.  It’s about knowing your audience and yourself, isn’t it? :)

With that caveat, I don’t mind talking about a few things that have been effective for me with the thought that it might stir ideas for someone else.

One of the things that pushes so many submissive men’s buttons is orgasm control.  There are many ways to achieve this.  Some are simple.  Some are very.. shall we say… long term.  Quite often I find that I really enjoy a brief period of tease and denial.  It’s very sexy for him and for me.

Text messaging and email are great tools for teasing and giving instructions.  The messages don’t have to be complex – in fact, they can be quite simple.  Much of it is in the timing.  My friend John is sharing a meal with his friends as I write this.  He knows how playful I like to be in public places and how I enjoy seeing a man squirm a bit from excitement.  I just sent a text message to him saying,

Wouldn’t it be exciting if I were sitting beside you?  The whole time you would be wondering if and when my hand would drop down to my lap and then move to touch you.

I can just imagine how he reacted when he read it.  Miles away, yet controlled.  He won’t be able to get that out of his mind for the rest of the meal.  Simple, yet hot (at least to me – I love teasing.)

Emails offer the opportunity for more detailed teasing and directions.

Subject:  Read This Email When You Are At Home

Dearest pet,

When you receive this email I want you to stop everything, go into the bedroom, and take off all your clothes.  No, don’t do it hurriedly. Slowly, my pet – as if you were stripping for me.

Once you’re naked, kneel beside your bed for me.  You know how much I love it when you are naked and kneeling.  Mmm.

Begin stroking, slowly teasing.  Tease yourself as I would.  As you do as I have requested, think of me.  My hand controlling you, my hand teasing you, my hand bringing you all the way to the edge.  Slowing down again, then bringing yourself to the edge once more.  Three times to the edge.  No more, no less.

Then stop.

You didn’t think I would allow you to release today, did you? :)

I merely wanted a nice little tease session.  Something for me to think about while I’m busy working.  You know how much I will enjoy this, don’t you?  How my body will react..  just as it always does when I think of how much I enjoy controlling you.

You can do this for me, can’t you?   Yes, of course you can.

Soft kisses,
Lady Julia

This one I’ll save for a friend who is ill right now. When he’s feeling a bit better, I’ll send it to him. Of course, he reads my blog and he knows this will be arriving. He’s just not sure when. I’m sure the anticipation will be quite pleasant…