“Lust’s passion will be served; it demands, it militates, it tyrannizes.” – Marquis de Sade
Do you agree?
Archive for June, 2009
Terrific Tush Tuesday for June 30th
Tuesday, June 30th, 2009Female Superiority
Monday, June 29th, 2009
It seems that Debbie Rowe, the biological mother of Michael Jackson’s children, has announced to the world that Michael was not the father her children. This wasn’t leaked to the tabloid press by someone else, she told them.
According to the Sydney Morning Herald,
Rowe reportedly then gave away her parental rights to the children in exchange for a $US8.4million payout over nine years.
She apparently went on to say,
“I was no good. I don’t want these children in my life. My children are my animals now.”
So… the man they’ve known as their father is dead. Their mother publicly states she doesn’t want them and that she gave them away for millions of dollars. Then she announces their father wasn’t really their father.
As I was thinking about how devastated these children must already feel and how much worse it will be because of her heartless statements, I recalled comments I had read in the past made by Elise Sutton on the subject of female superiority:
“I feel that I am a bit of an expert based on my years of study, observation and participation.”
“Once I learned about the natures of both men and women and once I learned about the natural dominance and supremacy of women over men..”
“The truth is that women are the superior gender and that once a woman unleashes her dominant power, no man will be able to stand up to her.”
Umm.. yeah. Ok.
I don’t think so.
To say women are superior to men makes as much sense to me as the long held belief by many that men are superior to women. There are plenty of people of both genders who prove this wrong. There are some things *individuals” do better than others, but I think it’s devaluing to people to say that everyone of a certain gender is better than they are.
I’m not in control because I am superior to him. I am in control because he chooses to surrender and I choose to take control.
(Note: The link between Rowe and Sutton’s comments is strictly mine. My mind often goes to the Female/Male Superiority issue whenever I read about people who completely disprove the theory.)
Sometimes I Make Mistakes
Sunday, June 28th, 2009
Sometimes I make mistakes. I am not always firm enough, sometimes I don’t communicate as well as I would like, every now and then I completely fail at understanding where you are coming from.
I’m sorry for the times when that happens.
It took me awhile to realize that it was ok for me not be perfect and that apologizing would not diminish my control over you. I know that is the fantasy for some men – the perfect Domme – but I think most realize that no one is infallible, no one can be “on” all the time. It also took me awhile to realize that the person hardest on me, the person with the highest expectations of me – was me.
I want you to know it’s ok to tell me if I am a bit off the mark (smiles – or even way off the mark). I know you’ll do it with careful consideration of my feelings and our relationship – just as I would do for you. I need for you to tell me I’m doing ok – just as I do for you. We each need validation that we are being successful in our roles and that each of us are having fun.
And we are having fun, aren’t we my good boy? ;)
(This post is a continuation of my “if I were a vanilla woman and my partner wanted me to dominate him and/or be the boss” series.)
Fabulous Face Friday and a Couple of Questions
Friday, June 26th, 2009
If you are submissive, do you get as excited doing something for your Mistress as you do about what she does to you? If you do not have a Mistress, do you get as excited thinking about doing something for a Mistress as you do thinking about what she might do to you?
Do you feel frustrated or let down if she isn’t excited about dominating you?
Randomness for June 26th
Friday, June 26th, 2009
I’m not sure… have I ever mentioned that I love the color red? Or that I have a great fondness for hats? :) I love this photo.
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I’ve completed a site update on Mesmerizing Women of the Web. Dead links have been removed and I’ve added 25 sites to the list. (If I missed adding yours, you may write and let me know.) I’ve also posted a new story on Femdom Fantasies and a little something on The Silken Tease. I’m going to determine the RSS feed info for each of these and pass it on so I won’t feel the need to make a remark here about every new post.
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In a few minutes I will be heading out for the day. I’m spending time with my nieces, sis-in-law, brother and mom. I don’t see this brother and his family very often so I’m looking forward to it. The 8 year old is something else. She has everyone wrapped around her finger and even when she wants to do something none of us particularly want to do, by the time she finishes smiling that smile, batting those eyelashes, and saying a few words, we all seem to be on board. The last time she was in for a visit, we were talking about how fond she is of having her way and she remarked, “oh I know how to get people to do what I want” as casually as she would have said “it’s raining outside”. Can’t imagine what she will be like when she is 30 :)
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Thanks to everyone who has offered to help write for my sites. I’ll be getting back with you sometime this weekend. I am so excited about working with you :)
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Oh.. and for those who are so sweet to read all the way to the end, I wanted to say – if you’re a fan of hypnosubmission, you might want to pop over to my Silken Web site later tonight. Perhaps I will leave a little something for you over there. (No, not a new MP3 but something I think you may enjoy experiencing :)
When Is It Time To Walk Away?
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
Last week I shared my feelings regarding the Englishman’s reappearance in my life. He had asked to see me face-to-face, and even though I knew he didn’t want to hear it, I told him “no”.
Sunday I returned from an outing with my mother and found him sitting in a parked rental car across the street from her house. Since it was Father’s Day, I suppose he thought it was a safe bet I’d show up there sooner or later. I was startled, hurt, and angry.
I attempted once again to make it clear he had no business being there after I had asked him not to come around me. He tried to explain how he was feeling and to be honest I was moved quite strongly by what he said. I’m not heartless – I know he went through an awful time and that life has really been horrible to him. I feel so sad that things turned out like they did for him. Things certainly didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to at the time either.
We talked for a few moments and I told him I would call the police if he ever showed up there again. Since he’s not a US citizen I’m fairly certain a charge of stalking would make it difficult for him to ever re-enter the country. As he has business meetings here from time to time, that would prove quite costly. That’s not something I want to see happen but I feel as if he is pushing me in a corner.
Even after hearing all that, he said he would stay in town a few more days to give me time to reconsider. I suppose he thought once I saw him, it would be difficult to walk away. If some circumstances were different that might be true, however his inability to respect my boundaries has pretty much made it impossible for me to ever trust him again.
He did call me one more time before leaving town. His message was contrite and he sounded lost. I feel terrible, but I really believe I made the only decision I could. Even if I were not concerned with everything that has happened, it’s been years since we were together. I’m not the same person and my circumstances are very different.
I might not feel so strongly about him ignoring my boundaries if I hadn’t been stalked in the past. When you tell someone to leave you alone and they continue and continue and continue, it’s terrifying. The feeling of helplessness is overwhelming.
I suppose all this has led me to consider boundaries in general. I began thinking again about a series of posts I recently read on another blog. The writer described a situation where a young woman had been in a relationship for three years with a “submissive” boyfriend. This gentleman supposedly becomes “aggressive” about his desire to be dominated, pouts if she does not dominate him in the way he wants, has persisted in calling her Mistress in front of people even though she has specifically told him not to and even though he knew she didn’t like it. He has gone as far as dropping to the floor to grovel when he doesn’t get his way, continuing this even when she asked him to stop. To my surprise, several people expressed the opinion this young man simply needed to be taken in hand and controlled.
I’m not an expert, and perhaps my opinions are colored unfairly by my life experiences, but I would be concerned if someone I knew thought it prudent that they remain in a situation like this. I feel it is a major deal when someone disregards hard, clearly establish boundaries, not just for the current situation but because of future interactions. It’s been my observation that people seldom change and if anything, things usually get worse over time. Of course no one knows the whole story between those two people except them and I am not trying in the slightest to offer advice to this woman specifically. Her situation simply made me wonder what I would do if I were her and what I would recommend to a young woman I was close to.
I’m completely aware it’s a judgment thing, but how does one know when someone is simply hurting and reaching out from pain and when they’re a potential risk? When does someone’s desires to have their needs met become so overwhelming that a problem develops? At what point does someone pushing past boundaries necessitate a call for an end to a relationship? When is it time to simply walk away?
What A Day
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
I know there’s been controversy for years surrounding Michael Jackson and I’ve never known what to believe about it all. The only thing I know for certain is he was a cute little boy who could really sing and who brought a lot of musical happiness into my life when I was a young teenager. His death, as with Farrah’s, saddens me.
Rest in peace, Michael.
RIP Farrah
Thursday, June 25th, 2009
I sincerely doubt there is a single child of the 70s who hasn’t seen this poster. Farrah was everywhere. Young boys drooled and young girls dreamed of looking just like her.
Yes, I confess, along with all my friends, I was stricken with Farrah fever. I had my very own feathered Farrah haircut (which if I remember correctly cost an obscene amount of money). Somehow I didn’t look quite like her, but it didn’t matter – if I could change something to make me look more like Farrah in any way then in my mind I was more beautiful than I was before. Naturally as I grew older, I put away such childish ideas. Today I have no desire to look like anyone else as I can appreciate the unique beauty in everyone.
To my surprise I did recently find myself affected once again by this lady who was so much more than a physical beauty. If possible, I hope that I can tap into my inner courage to battle whatever life throws at me in the same way Farrah did in her later years.
Whenever she discovered she had cancer, Farrah decided to make a documentary of her battle so that others might better understand this horrible disease and to give courage to those who may undergo the same fight. Farrah’s Story was viewed by over nine million people when it aired and I’m sure will be viewed by many others via DVD and rerun. We watched as she underwent treatment, fought the horrible side effects, discovered her cancer had returned, and so much more. It was frank, powerful, heartbreaking, and inspiring.
Even though her sweet smile and feathered hair will be remembered by those of us who grew up in the 70s, her courage will be remembered by people of all ages for years to come.
Thanks for sharing, Farrah – you did make a difference. May you rest in peace.
You Are On My Mind
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
Sometimes I Need To Lean On You
Wednesday, June 24th, 2009
I remember reading something written by an “authority” on female dominance. The author, a male submissive, inferred that a dominant woman should always be in control of her emotions and should never turn to her submissive male if she is in need of someone to lean on.
While I agree that everyone should control their emotions well enough that others are not harmed, I do not agree that dominant women should feel they can never lean on their submissive partners. I’m a woman, a human being with emotions just like everyone else. Sometimes I hurt. Sometimes I am frustrated. And yes, sometimes I am angry. When I am troubled, it is you I want to turn to. You’re my partner.
I know I can lean on you at times and this will not diminish our relationship. You are realistic enough to know that not every day will be filled to the brim with kink and sex. There are issues outside those two things that must be dealt with. I know I can make it through the difficult times because you are at my side, strong and steady.
I really like that you are a strong man. So many seem to believe that submissive is synonymous with weakness, but we both know that is not at all true. You are intelligent, self-aware, confident and sexy. You’re not threatened by the fact that I am strong, nor do you feel I am less in control when I need your emotional support.
It’s wonderful to have a rich fantasy life. So many things are exciting to imagine and some of them are very thrilling to do. We just have to remember that our Femdom, Female Led relationship stands a much better chance of lasting if we are both grounded in reality when it comes to our expectations of one another.
(This post is a continuation of my “if I were a vanilla woman and my partner wanted me to dominate him and/or be the boss” series.)
