Rear Admiral Grace Hopper
A delightfully sweet friend of mine submitted this for publication. I was quite impressed with his initiative, his kindness, and his desire to do something helpful for a Lady. He is, most definitely, a very good boy. ~ Lady Julia
I was thinking about a quote that Rear Admiral Grace Hopper made on “60 Minutes” about managers and leaders. She was asked, “What is wrong with American business?” Her reply was, “The concept of management. You manage spreadsheets – you lead people”. Based on my experience this is so true.
I have seen a lot of posts on your site where guys are expecting their women to make them do this or perform this way. I think this is the managerial type approach. “Put this on, do this, perform this way”…. There is nothing wrong with this. The little rituals, props and role playing we engage in can be great fun and add spice to any relationship. But I think these things can get in the way to what a female led relationship should and can be. Or any relationship for that matter.
I hate being managed at work. I especially hate to be micro-managed. Micro-managing implies a lack of trust or respect. I think people believe that if they control the little behaviors and actions they can control the person or situation. Ultimately I think this type of behavior is doomed to fail.
The bosses I most enjoyed working for were leaders. They were also good managers, but they inspired people, not just ordered them around. They set good examples. A good boss will give praise easily and an occasional kick in the ### when needed.
I want to be led and not managed. I think there is an important distinction between the two. I cannot and will not follow someone I do not respect or who does not respect me. I want to follow someone who will inspire me to be a better person. To me it goes beyond following orders. I am a big boy. I know what is wrong and right. If I do the right thing I hope I am rewarded. If I screw up, it is my fault, not the person leading me.
Not to say I don’t screw up. I do. I am not perfect. And I have certainly benefited from the guidance and help of strong women.
This is also not to say I don’t like being directed by a woman. I do. It just means I want to be inspired and led not managed.
~
Grace Hopper factoids for those interested (in part from Wikipedia.com):
It is impossible to do someone like Grace Hopper justice in a summary. Just one of her accomplishments is a career for most of us. But she was the mother of modern programming languages. I think she was the first or one of the first women to be given the rank of captain and then admiral in the navy. In fields usually dominated by men she was an exceptional leader.
Rear Admiral Grace Murray Hopper (December 9, 1906 – January 1, 1992) was an American computer scientist and United States Naval officer. A pioneer in the field, she was one of the first programmers of the Harvard Mark I computer, and she developed the first compiler for a computer programming language. She conceptualized and led the development of COBOL, one of the first modern programming languages. She is also credited with popularizing the term “debugging” for fixing computer glitches (motivated by an actual moth removed from the computer). Because of the breadth of her accomplishments and her naval rank, she is sometimes referred to as “Amazing Grace”. The U.S. Navy destroyer USS Hopper (DDG-70) was named for her.
While she was working on a Mark II Computer at Harvard University in 1947, her associates discovered a moth stuck in a relay and thereby impeding operation, whereupon she remarked that they were “debugging” the system. Though the term computer bug cannot be definitively attributed to Admiral Hopper, she did bring the term into popularity. The remains of the moth can be found in the group’s log book at the Smithsonian Institution’s National Museum of American History in Washington, D.C.
The famous quotation “It’s easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission” is often attributed to Grace Hopper.
