Since my return from North Carolina, David and I have gone out for a few meals and talked on the phone a number of times. During one of our last meals together I broached the subject of therapeutic hypnosis. To my delight he was very interested, listened attentively as I described the basics, and asked quite intelligent questions.
After responding to his questions, I somewhat casually remarked, “If you’re ever interested, I could give you a demonstration.”
“Does it hurt?” he quipped.
“Only if I tell you it will”, I laughed.
“Then why not? It sounds intriguing.”
Why not indeed? It was the sort of open-minded, intellectually curious response I’ve come to expect from him. While I hadn’t described any of the more pleasurable aspects of hypnosis (wink) I did tell him there were all sorts of uses including exploring things that people are not ready to explore outside the fantasy realm. I assumed he could connect the dots if he wanted to.
I began with a very simple progressive relaxation induction with a smattering of guided imagery, progressed to a counting deepener, and then offered some suggestions for relaxation including a tattoo on the back of his hand that only he could see. Rubbing the tattoo with his index finger would help him relax any time, any place, as much as he wanted. Since he has a pretty high-pressure career, I thought he would be able to evaluate his responsiveness to the suggestions on a regular basis.
I really love observing people’s faces as they’re hypnotized, watching as their head droops a bit and the rest of their body quite visibly relaxes. There’s always this moment of awe in knowing the power of both suggestion and the human mind.
He appeared to be a fairly responsive subject and has since reported that his tattoo has kept him from pulling his hair out on several occasions. I was pleased not only because it helped him but also that he was open and willing to share in something that deeply interested me.
Yesterday we were talking a bit more about hypnosis and I decided it was the time to tell him about “Lady Julia” and my interest in the erotic and D/s aspects of hypnosis. He was a little surprised but I don’t think he was shocked. He asked me if what I do made me happy. When I replied that it did, he remarked, “Who could object to you doing something that makes you happy?”
I thought then what a great friend he was turning out to be.
Friends. There’s that word again. I’ve wondered since I met him if being “just friends” with him was possible given that he initially wanted more. I would never want to lead him on or hurt him. I know it’s possible to be long distance friends with men because I have several, but I was concerned that proximity might make that impossible.
From the discussions I’ve seen on here, on a few blogs, and in TCOD, I was beginning to wonder. I’ve heard some say women are cruel, that they tease and string along men with whom they are friends, and in general are just too much temptation for testosterone driven men to handle. Others have reported having “friends only” relationships for years that were just that – friends only.
I think for us, things will be ok. He has reassured me that while he wants more from me, he is happy with being friends and is quite capable of handling that without being hurt. “I’m a big boy. I can take care of myself”. Who could argue with that?
Since then I’ve started calling him “Big Boy”. For some difficult-to-comprehend reason he seems to enjoy that ;)
No related posts.
Lady Julia,
There is no doubt at all existing. You are a true friend.
Like the goddess Indra, you furnish your friends with a thousand eyes.
You help your friends see in other dimensions.
You share life within the upside down and inside out.
You are never alone, nor are your friends, nor will you ever be alone.
Yours is a friendship for Life, skin to skin close with those you truly Love.
Your friendship with your friends is akin to something in the near side of loving, including.
Your friends are blessed.
gratias.
willie
Since then I’ve started calling him “Big Boy”. For some difficult-to-comprehend reason he seems to enjoy that ;)
This is a perfect example of the sexual come-ons that women do yet you cannot see why men say that they can’t be friends with women. He tells you he can because he’s hoping you will change your mind.
I don’t think women are always aware that men don’t do “friendly flirting”. You either want us or you don’t. If you want us you flirt. If you don’t, you don’t. It’s that simple.
Willie, thank you. You are such a lovely person.
Todd wrote:
> …. men don’t do “friendly flirting”.
Please, don’t speak for me.
Thank you.
Arafin
I disagree with both Dick and Todd. If the ground rules and expectations are clear, then they can be taken at face value.
Flirting, even with the expectation of nothing more than the flirting, is fun.
We’re not in high school, after all. We should be able to actually control our hormones at least a little bit.
I envy him.
You write so well Lady Julia. It is exciting to read about a man who knows nothing about dominance,submission or hypnosis who is being lured into that world. I know you want to be just friends with him but I think that doesn’t prevent you from making sure he has a quality, “hands on” education from you about these things.