From the Telegraph.co.uk:
Foreplay may be overrated according to a survey based on 2,300 women, which found that it has little or no significance when it comes to the likelihood of having an orgasm.
And Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny are real. Puhlease.
The duration of intercourse – 16.2 minutes on average – is the clincher, according to the research. The findings suggest that sex therapists, who emphasise the value of foreplay, may have that been getting it wrong.
“In contrast to the assumptions of many sex therapists and educators, more attention should be given to improve the quality and duration of intercourse rather than foreplay,” say Professor Stuart Brody of the University of the West of Scotland, and Professor Peter Weiss, from Charles University, Prague.
Or.. how about attention should be given to BOTH foreplay AND intercourse?
Maybe I’m strange but I can’t separate foreplay and sex. Nor can I time either of them. Sometimes foreplay can last for days if you’re inventive, especially if you are an inventive Domme. When it does, sex will be hot and multi-orgasmic. Will it last longer than the “average”? Who can say how long actual intercourse lasts? If I’m having an orgasmically-good time, I’m not going to be looking at the clock. I’m sure the time will seem to pass quickly – it flies when you’re having fun, right?
The researchers looked at frequency of orgasm in the women, and foreplay and intercourse data. They concluded the links with foreplay were insignificant. Instead they suggest that the longer intercourse lasts, the greater the probability of orgasm for the women.
Yes, of course the longer the intercourse lasts, the greater the probability of orgasm for women. That’s pretty much a no-brainer, isn’t it? That said, how often are women “ready” for 16.2 minutes of sex without foreplay? Foreplay can never be overrated because it’s an integral component of sex.
At least, that is the case for me.
It might begin with a text message at 10am on Monday. “Go to the restroom as soon as you can and tease til you almost come. Then stop. Remember who controls your cock.”
That night, he pleasures me with his tongue until my body shudders in complete release. Again. And again. He is denied.
On Tuesday morning when I catch him gazing at my body as I lotion it, I smile because it’s clear he cannot pull his eyes away. “Begin touching yourself and don’t stop until I finish. No, you may not come. Remember who owns your cock.” I smooth the lotion onto my arms, my thighs, my breasts, then finish by bringing myself to climax as he watches.
On Wednesday evening at dinner, I sit beside him in the restaurant. The tablecloth covers his lap – something for which he is truly grateful. “Unzip your pants and pull out MY cock.” I touch and tease til he is almost begging. He’s not sure if he’s begging not to come right there in the restaurant – or to come. He desperately wants both.
I adore tease and denial.
That night he strips for me – slowly. On my command he touches his body and teases himself til he’s right on the edge. “Stop.” His look of disbelief both amuses and excites me. Tonight I orgasm as his fingers probe and caress.
Thursday evening he prepares and serves dinner dressed only in a tuxedo jacket and tie. He stands obediently beside me so that I can periodically caress his behind. “I’m so wet now, my sexy pet. Caressing your bottom always excites me. Tonight – tonight I will use my cock until I come. Perhaps if I am well and truly pleased, I will allow you to come as well.”
After dinner, he draws a bath, slowly undresses me, and steadies me with his outstretched hand as I step into the tub. Candles, soft music, and champagne offer a bit of romance. He strips when told and kneels, waiting.
My hands caress my body for a moment as I watch him – naked, kneeling, hard – all for me.
He soaps his hands when told and runs them over my body, washing every inch of my arms, legs, and torso. As he finishes, I nod and his hand slips down between my thighs and he caresses my clit. Soon moans of pleasure and desire fill the room.
I’m ready. “Rinse and dry my body, pet.”
He obeys.
I reach to the counter and pick up the leash for his cock collar. Snap. Leading him to the bedroom has never been more exciting.
Foreplay.
Yes.. definitely overrated.
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OMG, You certainly have my rapt attention with this post! It makes me wonder what exactly they were referring to as foreplay, because i have a suspicion these really hot things never occurred to them.
:D
I was going to comment on the article, but after reading the rest of your post, I, uh… have to go open the window. And take a cool shower.
I read the article, but there was no link to the study itself. In the article:
Like you, I think the conclusions drawn are rubbish, in part due to the following reasons:
1. The researchers were solely comprised of heterosexual men. (duh)
2. “They concluded the links with foreplay were insignificant” – They acknowledge links, yet discount them. Why?
3. “the results are robust” What results?
4. “the evidence which shows that [foreplay] is not [of primary importance]” What evidence?
I feel that a lot of less-than-adequate-in-the-sack heterosexual men would rather be told that they can freely bang away with no need for foreplay. And now there is a study to “prove” it.
- Did they include women who have sex with women in their study? No.
- Is their exclusion of women who have sex with women significant? Undoubtedly.
- Is their exclusion of men from the study significant? Absolutely.
- Did they account for the difference between enjoyment of sexual activity and orgasms? No.
- Did they address the erroneous assumption that orgasms are the be-all and end-all of erotic activity? No.
- Did they differentiate between more and less pleasurable orgasms? No.
- Was there any verification of the women’s responses aside from simply accepting their word on what is normally considered a taboo and difficult topic to discuss? Unlikely.
- With whom are these women supposed to have been having this insignificant foreplay? Chickens?
- Was this study designed to benefit women? No.
- Will this make everybody better lovers? No.
- Will this get men such as the researchers more admiration from more sexual partners? I doubt it.
- Was this the primary object of the study? Probably.
- Was this study little more than an opportunity for a few men to pruriently ask a lot of women about their sex lives? Probably.
My responses to this? Ew, and Vile.
Lubyanka brings up good points. She missed a few.
-How good was the foreplay being studied? What was the nature?
-Did the research include foreplay that actually results in female orgasm?
-How could they possibly figure the average time of 16.2 minutes?
Okay, that last one is important. Think about it… If you know people are watching, you’re going to be repressed at least until you get carried away.
I think this is definitely a situation where the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle comes into play. It’s not just for atomic matter! In fact, if we look at the definition from Wikipedia:
“the Heisenberg uncertainty principle states that the values of certain pairs of conjugate variables (position and momentum, for instance) cannot both be known with arbitrary precision.”
And I think I’m going to go away now, smiling at having taken a common principle of quantum physics and successfully applying it to this situation.
I shouldn’t have read this while at work as it is far too hot in here now.
I couldn’t care less about the research study methodology. I am simply amazed by your creativity and sensuality. Often I think what it must be like to be your slave but I believe my imagination is no where near as good as yours.
Free Thinking Writer Says:
“Lubyanka brings up good points. She missed a few.
-How good was the foreplay being studied? What was the nature?
-Did the research include foreplay that actually results in female orgasm?
-How could they possibly figure the average time of 16.2 minutes?”
I don’t think “good” is quantifiable. I think they only considered the fact of an orgasm, not its quality. In any case, I think I covered your first point with:
- Did they account for the difference between enjoyment of sexual activity and orgasms? No.
- Did they address the erroneous assumption that orgasms are the be-all and end-all of erotic activity? No.
- Did they differentiate between more and less pleasurable orgasms? No.
- Was there any verification of the women’s responses aside from simply accepting their word on what is normally considered a taboo and difficult topic to discuss? Unlikely.
I think I addressed your third point with:
3. “the results are robust” What results?
4. “the evidence which shows that [foreplay] is not [of primary importance]” What evidence?
As for your second point, clearly the research only considered women’s orgasms achieved through penis-in-vagina intercourse, and disregarded any others. Clearly they define “foreplay” as any erotic activity which excludes penis-in-vagina banging.
How thoughtful of them.
I think the selective inclusion and exclusion of data is what skewed whatever numbers they got to favour a lengthy bang without foreplay.
Although I know that I personally wouldn’t get erotic anywhere near those researchers unless I was illegally forced to at gunpoint, I wish them luck with that, I hope it works out for them.
I’m not optimistic though.
I try to follow the principle that life is about the journey, not the destination. I strive to put into practice the Zen maxim that archery is about drawing the bow, not hitting the target. As Lady Julia has most imaginatively demonstrated, nowhere is this truer than with sex. Sort of “Zen And The Art Of Orgasm”.
I wonder: What is it that we remember most about great sex? Is it the orgasm, or what led up to it? It seems to me that it’s impossible to remember an orgasm. I can remember that I had a strong one, or a long one, or a disappointing one, but that’s not the same as remembering the thing itself. Perhaps I don’t speak for everyone, but I don’t linger nostalgically over the memory of an orgasm, as I sit by the fire with a cup of tea years later. What I do linger over is the memory of a touch, a kiss, a caress, a sudden intake of breath, or the way that a woman cried my name in a moment of passion.
As far as I am concerned, satisfying sex is entirely about foreplay. Intercourse is something you do when you’re out of patience, or out of ideas.
And by the way, didn’t the women in this study ever have orgasms during foreplay? Or doesn’t that count?
Lady,
Now that you are done with foreplay and have me really turned on, can we get down to that 16.2 minutes of sex?
Seriously, even when my wife and I were in our most mind bending horny hormonal moods we did not begin with 16.2 minutes of sex just to give her an orgasm. I would have missed loving her all over, and she would have missed being worshipped like that. The 16.2 minutes may have been a byproduct of all that took place before. These researchers are morons.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with a “quickie” regardless of who orgasms or does not as a result.
The thing I see here which is supremely overrated is the ego of the author of the article from the Telegraph. The ignorance of the researchers would be a close second. Just as some physical devices seem to be designed by people who haven’t got a clue how they actually operate, so too does this article seem to have been written by someone who hasn’t gotten any for a while, and backed up with ditzy research by people who were even more frustrated. They say one should never go grocery shopping when one is hungry because that leads to the purchase of all sorts of things one does not need.
As for the tale regarding your chauffeur, I implore you to pass it on to the Telegraph in the most persuasive manner possible. I know the importance you place on informed consent as regards hypnosis, but you would be doing such a favor to the people behind that article if you just tweaked their imaginations and their libidos with a bit of Ericksonian this and that. :)
Arafin
Excellent points :) I’ve really enjoyed reading the comments for this post. Thank you all.
Lady Julia,
You may have enjoyed reading the comments but this is one time for sure your post had much more meat to it. Wow hot does not begin to describe you.