Sorry I’ve not been around.  There’s so much going on now and I just can’t be.  To everyone who sent stories and articles, I adore that you did that – truly.  I so appreciate your talents and effort, it’s just that I haven’t been able to read them yet.  This is not a reflection on your work I promise.

I miss talking to you and having fun with you :)

~

The password for the previous protected post is my real first name, all lower case.

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Randomness and the Previous Password Protected Post is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Protected: A Bit About What’s Happening is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Thank you to those who sent birthday and get well wishes. You are truly special people.

I am still feeling quite poorly, but I am satisfied this won’t last forever and I’ll soon return to my normal fun activities.

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Progress or Lack Thereof is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Recovering is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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There were a couple of people who indicated a desire to discuss LOST with me.  After thinking about it, I thought it might be fun to do conduct the conversation here.  We’ll do it in the comment section so we won’t spoil it for others who may be a bit behind.  I’ll be adding my thoughts after I watch each week’s episode, so don’t peek til you’ve seen the latest  one :)

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Discussing LOST With Me is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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No, I don’t mean Lady GaGa or this cover featuring her sporting a strapon.  I am referring to the vast amount of truly venonmous comments I’ve heard and read about this talented lady.  Ok, sure, her music might not be everyone’s preferred style, but I can’t help wondering why the hate?

At any rate, fan or not, I thought some of you might enjoy the image.

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Shocking is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Just a few bits and pieces for now.

Thus far I’ve only had one story submitted in February for posting on Femdom Fantasies.  If you have something to submit (smiles – deliberate choice of words) then please contact me.

~

A reader asks:

What kind of music do you find the most likely to get you in the mood?

Anything sung by a man whose voice is sexy. I have a thing for voices, so much so that I would say it’s the physical quality that most attracts me to a person. Leonard Cohen, Marvin Gay, Barry White – all yummy. Accents – also delish, although I can’t say I notice them much when someone is singing.

~
Another reader wonders:

Why don’t you charge for your MP3s or access to your sites?  Nothing of quality is free.

Nothing of quality is free? Seriously? I’m never reading any Shakespeare again! No, no – it’s free. It must be worthless. The same for anything composed by Beethoven and performed by a symphony. (Not all symphonies charge for admission.)

I don’t charge because I don’t want to charge. If I charge, then people might have an actual right to gripe and I like being able to say sorry – it’s free. No gripey if it’s free. I write my blogs and create MP3s because it is FUN for me to do so. It’s an outlet for my creativity and I want nothing to pressure me or steal my fun when it comes to these things. My life is very stressful at times so a pleasurable and creative hobby is very important to me.

I also don’t accept money for what I do because in my mind that seems to take the control from me and give it to whomever is paying.  I like being in control, most especially of what *I* do.  I’m not saying that is the case for others – just for me.

~

Finally, another reader questions:

What are the benefits of being financially controlled by a female online who is genuinely interested in helping me to be financially submissive?

You really didn’t leave me enough information to respond. *How* is she controlling you financially? Are you giving her money to do this or is she an online friend who is merely setting limits with you? Is the goal to make you financially responsible? If you’re giving her money, is it your money to give or is it money that is taken away from your family? If you wish, you may clarify here.

Thanks to each of you. If you would like to pose a question, you may do so anonymously here.

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Femdom Fantasies, Sexy Music, Financial Domination, and More is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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A couple of days ago I shared my thoughts on wants, needs, and topping in a Femdom relationship.  If they are to have a healthy, happy relationship, I truly believe a couple must consider what a man needs to be just as important as what the Domme needs.  Not always a popular opinion, but one I stand by nonetheless.

That said, I also believe if the Domme is to retain control, it’s imperative that each distinguishes between what he wants and what he needs. For him to be persistent about his needs is healthy.  When he’s pushy in order to have his wants met – well, I think that’s when topping rears its ugly head.  

When determining which is which, perhaps we can view wants as things that can help fulfill needs?* For example:

Needs:
To feel controlled.
To feel desired.
To be fulfilled sexually.
To feel appreciated

Wants (things she can opt to do to help fulfill his needs):
To have his cock kept in a cage.
To have all his orgasms and touching controlled.
To be teased and denied.
To be ordered to do things.
To be spanked as a form of punishment.
To be told he’s sexy.
To be teased.
To be “used” for sex.
To be “forced” to display his naked body for her.
To be allowed to experience sexual release.
To have some of his orgasms ruined.
To be told he’s a good boy.
To be rewarded for what he does.
To be shown off to her friends.
To be praised.

Differentiating wants from needs not only helps ensure the submissive’s needs are met, but can perhaps reduce frustration by making his/her expectations more reasonable. We have a reasonable expectation that our needs are met in a relationship. Having his wants met – well in a power exchange relationship, it’s up to the one in control to decide on that, isn’t it?

~

* Certainly this list of “wants” versus “needs” is offered as things to consider, not as fact.

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Wants versus Needs is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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It’s been quite interesting to follow the comments on my two recent posts regarding rape and responsibility. While I don’t agree with all the responses, they certainly provided food for thought.

A couple of things struck me as the discussion unfolded.

It seems as if we aren’t all defining the word “responsible” in the same manner. Are there certain behaviors – like drinking til you pass out in the presence of strangers or walking alone in a dangerous area at night – irresponsible things to do? Well, yes, I consider them to be. If an individual is raped as a result of these actions, is the rape the fault of the victim? Absolutely not. We all make poor choices at time. Doing so does not mean “we get what we deserve” or that “our actions are the reason something happened”.

In taking one last view of the survey results, I find I agree with FTW – the questions are ambiguous and the numbers are probably not statistically accurate. That said, I suspect it does fairly accurately reflect the gap between how males view rape and responsibility and how women see the situation. Would you agree? If so, why do you suppose females take a much harsher position?

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Just One More Post About This and I’ll Let it Drop – Probably is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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Happy Fat Tuesday! If you’re in the New Orleans area, I hope you’re enjoying the celebration.

I just finished a lovely Chinese meal and have watched the first half of this week’s LOST. If you’re a LOST fan, let me know. I am dying to talk to some of you about a couple of things from this season without giving spoilers for those who are behind.

The rest of the evening is going to be pretty busy so I’ll have to wait til tomorrow to catch up with all the comments left on my blogs during the past few days. I adore comments so you guys have been making me smile :) I’ve also received a flood of emails so be patient – I will get back to you :)

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Randomness for February 16th is a post from: Lady Julia's Entranced Realm (c) 2010 Lady Julia. If you enjoyed this post or have something to add, please leave a comment. Remember, feedback typically encourages writers to write more ;)

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