It’s difficult for some to talk about sex, especially kinky sex. Even so, if you have wants and needs that extend beyond traditional vanilla sex, you must share that information with me relatively early in our relationship. It may not be the best idea to pour out your soul on the very first date, but before we make a long term commitment you must tell me everything.
I know you will have concerns about my reaction. I may be taken aback or completely opposed to the idea. In fact, it could be that I simply can’t give you what you want or need. Still, wouldn’t it be horrible to find this out after we’ve committed to being together? On the bright side, I may be willing to try some of the things that interest you, and when I do, I may find that I enjoy a lot of them ;)
You may choose to remain silent, believing you can do without these needs being met. Please don’t. It is extraordinarily unlikely you will always feel that way and, in fact, it is quite probable you will resent me later in life for being unable to do the things you desire.
You may think you can change me. It’s true I may change a little, but are you willing to risk our happiness on it without telling me the truth? If you’re not honest with me in the beginning, then it’s completely unfair to resent me because I am unable to become a totally different person later on.
Yes, when you tell me, I might end it. Maybe you’ll end it. Maybe we’ll go on together. Whatever happens, an honest discussion of needs and wants is our only chance for long term happiness.
- Lady Julia
(This post is a part of my If I Were a Vanilla Woman and My Partner Wanted Me to Dominate Him and/or Be the Boss” series.)
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If real submissive men told women exactly what they wanted they would run screaming. Women are not wired to dominate. If they do kinky things before they get married it is so they can snare the man. If they do it after it is a miracle. It’s almost impossible to submit to a woman because so few of them have any idea how to keep a man happy. If you have to keep telling them what to do what is the point?