Lady Julia. Do you believe that one day a woman can finally assume full control of her household and dominate and enslave her husband?
If by “full control” and “enslave” you mean take him to a place where he is always compliant, has no internal conflict, no thought of himself at all – no, I don’t. Not unless she does a lobotomy :)
It would be rare if even possible for someone to be “on” all the time. There are times when the stresses of every day life take a toll and we find we are distracted from our relationship goals. True, most of the time we are easily redirectable, but there are times when it requires a lot of effort to stay on track. It’s in most people’s nature to seek out what they want and need, a trait that will at times lead even the most submissive person to be non-compliant. Additionally, it’s a far bigger responsibility to dominate someone than many imagine in their wonderful yet impractical fantasies. It requires creativity, planning, consideration, and careful evaluation in order to help insure the emotional and physical health and safety of the submissive. Sometimes, even the strictest bosses give in to the temptation to relax and not worry about who does what when.
Of course, that’s been my experience :) Your mileage may vary.
Another reader asks:
Is it possible to be a submissive male partner in a relationship and not know it? When I first started reading about female-led relationship, it sounded like something I would find enjoyable. Then I began to realize that this is pretty much how my wife and I have been living for as long as I can remember.
I think it is. When I was with the Englishman, I was quite definitely the person in control, but I had never really heard anything about Femdom or Female Led Relationships. I didn’t even think about being the person who called the shots – it’s just pretty much how it was.
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Thank you for the questions :) If you have something you would like to ask, you may do so anonymously here.
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Lady Julia,
Back about 8 years ago, when I was serving a friend, Knight to her Lady, she told me that a 24/7 D/s relationship was only a fantasy. In real life, every relationship is a give and take proposition, with the amount of give being influenced not only by the personalities of the individuals, but by the circumstances as well. I recall one time when I was admonishing her about taking her medication,she remarked that it was comforting to know that she had a ’sub’ who would come out and take charge if she needed it.
Freemann
@Lady Julia: “I didn’t even think about being the person who called the shots – it’s just pretty much how it was.”
Someone once told me that I had read one book too many. Since I stumbled in to the Enchanted Realm, I have been reading everything I can get my eyes on concerning female-led relationships, only to get smacked in the head by the realization that it all pretty much described my life, except for the kinky stuff. I worry sometimes lately that acknowledging my submissiveness might somehow “break the spell” – I pray that never happens, and will stop thinking about all this immediately and just enjoy this beautiful life.
I have read comments by men stating they believe the Domme has it easy, that all she has to do is sit back and “be worshipped”. Their version of “being worshpped” looks like a lot of work to me.