Her Story: How My Boyfriend Successfully Introduced FLR to Me

February 13th, 2010



In response to yesterday’s post, Hormonal Urges, Love & Respect: What Motivates You?, Leslie remarked

As someone fairly new to FLR, I’m definitely open to advice – and was definitely prey to some of those aforementioned Absolute Truths of Femdom. It was only when I stopped listening to what I *should* be doing – and instead focused on what I *wanted* to be doing – that I began really having fun. A lot of fun. :) I’m convinced now that, if my boyfriend hadn’t introduced me to female dominance, I would’ve eventually discovered it on my own. Not the whips ‘n chains part (which I don’t care for) but the teasing. The tantalizing. The drawing of his passions to the edge of ecstasy… and then playfully pulling back. I’m gradually acclimating myself to other kink, and my boyfriend and I have an ongoing dialog about what works, what doesn’t, what each of us wants, ect. But I believe – and you’ve mentioned this several times – that what a new Domme needs the most is space. Space to learn, grow, make mistakes, and find herself. It wasn’t until my boyfriend discovered that (and stopped topping from the bottom) that we actually got somewhere. Somewhere happy and fun and satisfying. For both of us.

I’m not sure where the arbitrary 6-10 orgasms/yr came from, but it could never work for me. My boyfriend is 25 and I’m a couple weeks shy of 24. Forget 6 orgasms a year. Guys his age probably whack off 6 times a *day*. If I told him that his releases would be as drastically curtailed as that woman suggested, the poor guy would probably die of a broken heart. :( And that wouldn’t be fun. Why not instead keep him wondering, guessing, and tantalizingly (but not frustratingly) on edge. And then – when he least expects it – blow his mind. Or not. :) Now, *that* is my idea of a good time.

Life in general is not a one-size-fits-all kinda deal. So, why should our relationships be? I applaud you for the depth and authenticity of your writing. In the internet realm of latex, crazy fantasies (and more male body parts on display without warning than I actually care to see, haha) your blog is a wonderful breath of fresh air. And a true class act..

Thanks for sharing your success story, Leslie and for explaining so clearly why it worked for you. I posted it here so that more people would notice and perhaps feel comfortable posing questions about your experience.

(Thanks also for the nice words. You’re very sweet.)

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3 Responses to “Her Story: How My Boyfriend Successfully Introduced FLR to Me”

  1. Leslie says:

    The girl in that picture actually looks like someone I know, haha.

    I’ve read a bunch of male FLR bloggers, too, and many seem to struggle with convincing their wives. Not that I have everything (read: anything) figured out. My boyfriend and I just don’t see each other that often these days, since I’m in grad school out of state, and getting to acclimated to FLR is probably easier without the challenges of daily domesticity. One big thing, though. He never tried to make me over. He inundated me with femdom lit to the point of absurdity, but never with the intent of creating the Dream Domme. If that makes any sense. And that’s key, I think. Information = good. Personality alteration = bad. :)

    Nah, thanks for such smart and open-minded commentary. I was surprised to find some rudish comments in previous posts, and I admire the poise with which you responded to them.

  2. David H. says:

    Congratulations on your happiness, Leslie.

    I think you have offered very sound advice: “Information = good. Personality alteration = bad. :)”

  3. susan's pet says:

    The comment you quoted above is great. She is one intelligent mind among a sea of flotsam and jetsam.