On Saturday I remarked, “I’ve read quite a bit about service-only submissives, but to my knowledge I’ve only met one. Are any of you the sort of submissive who derives pleasure simply from doing things for the Domme with nothing but a “thank you, I’m pleased” in return?”
There were a couple of very thoughtful comments left that supported treating everyone this way. (Their complete comments can be found here.) While I completely agree with their sentiments, I had something a bit different in mind when I posed my question.
A few years ago, I posted the above Jack Vettriano painting, “The Singing Butler” in one of my blog entries. A friend remarked that the picture really exemplified how he felt when he thought of submitting to a Domme. He didn’t see himself as the man who danced with her or who pleased her sexually. It wasn’t a cuckolding thing either as there would never have been any type of romantic or sexual relationship with the Lady. He saw himself as the man holding the umbrella, the man who washed her car, who mowed her lawn. While he was a giving person and helped others, this was different. This was submission to someone he respected and wanted to please. I’m not really clear if this type of interaction would have resulted in sexual arousal or not as at the time I didn’t think to ask him. I am thinking perhaps it wouldn’t have.
So my question was directed more towards people who had the desire to serve one person in a submissive capacity. Can you see yourself, for example, going to her house and cleaning for two hours twice a week and your only reward being a thank you? If so, would you find sexual stimulation in this?
No related posts.
The only way to keep a submissive man in his place is to control his sexuality. To expect service only with no sexual aspect is unrealistic.
I’ve provided service for someone for over two years now and it’s a service-only relationship. No sex of any kind. Actually it’s the longest kind of relationship I’ve had in BDSM.
At first it was just a way for me to get my desire to serve met. Almost as though I was saying to myself “well, it’s better than nothing”. I was settling. I became friends with the person I provide service to and the more I learned the more I enjoyed it. Now, would I enjoy it if I found someone to provide service to who wanted to fuck me and beat the hell out of me afterwards? Sure! But that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy service for service-sake.
In fact, I’ve never provided service for someone and expected (or received ) play as a reward.
I hear of other experience where a submissive is sexualized or objectified while performing service (forced to be nude for example). I’ll admit it’s something I’ve wondered about since the way I provide service now is in no-way sexual. I would worry that my quality of cleaning would go down if it was more sexual though.
The funny part is how hard it is to find someone to provide service to in the first place.