Yesterday’s posts seem to stir things up much more than I anticipated. I knew my views on Proposition 8, Domme apparel, and strapons would not be popular with some, but I was really surprised at the venomous emails I received. (Not all were nasty, so if you were sweet or polite, don’t worry – I can tell the difference.) It really surprises me when people who appear to be involved in an alternative lifestyle (or at least desire to be) are so intolerant of the views of others. Why does my opinion matter so much that it elicits this kind of anger? It is seldom that I make a blanket “this is true all the time” statement. Usually I preface my remarks with a “this is how I feel for *me*” or “this is what happened when I experienced this” disclaimer, so it’s not as if I’m being obnoxious like a number of bloggers who profess their way is the only way.
Adults should be able to disagree. We should be able to discuss things without making personal attacks and without taking things personally ourselves. How I live my life and experience my relationships really has nothing to do with anyone outside of those relationships. If we’re happy, then why not say, “hooray – the world needs more happy people”? I try to do that with people even though, try as I might, I cannot always understand why certain things appeal to them or how they get to the conclusions they reach. Live and let live as long as no one is being hurt. Besides, I would feel all sorts of loser-y if I had to cut down people who held different views just so I could think more of myself.
If children had these sort of fights, we would make them sit down and learn to address their problems in a reasonable, “adult-like” manner. Shouldn’t we be prepared be adult-like, too?
No related posts.
One day after three nights of laying in a muddy, blood soaking monsoon, I asked my self, “what the fuck ?”. I couldn’t move my legs. I could hardly breathe. I knew I was soon dead, but was wrong.
On a hospital ship, I awoke, not able to talk, only think. and I knew then, none of the little shit really matters. None of the tiniest bullshit matters at all.
Lady Julia, having bled enough real blood so you and all people might own their own opinions, be they hard, harsh, or filled with compassion, let me say this. Stand true to who you are, for you are you, and only you. Let the other folks be their own selves, as you do normally. Allow them to stand true to their own selves and beliefs. No one’s comments are life or death, even though they may feel as such.
Then, work a smile into your Being with each breath you take, and those who respect you will grow with you. Those who do not? They have more shit to deal with than any of your comments. Accept and respect them with understandment, and you shall add, no more misery to this earth, but just goodness.
Respectfully to all,
willie
I do respect people. A lot.
I respect that people are different than me, that there is more than one way of doing things, that everyone has a right to express themselves.
Everyone has baggage. I understand this. I don’t think their differences or their baggage means that it’s ok to say some of the things that people say to me in private or via comments here. I can and do delete many comments. I can and do delete the emails. That doesn’t erase my feelings regarding the very unkind things people say. Sticks and stones.. not really true. Perhaps that’s more my problem than theirs. It’s definitely something to think about.
I know I’ve said this before, but your bravery and sacrifice are truly appreciated. That’s something we can never say often enough.
“All that is required for evil to triumph is for good men (and women) to do nothing.”
Closed-mindedness in its very many forms is a small (or sometimes large) evil. Attempting to force your lifestyle choices on someone else is definitely an evil. The people perpetrating these acts aren’t necessarily evil; they may simply be misguided.
But even when it’s hard, one shouldn’t give up. It’s easy to make non-controversial choices, leaving a very small ripple in the world. But to do so is to allow evil to continue.
Lady Julia, when you look in the mirror, you can be proud of what you see. If you kept your thoughts to yourself, if you allowed evil to flourish, would you be as proud? I doubt it.
Yes it’s hard. But when closed-minded people are angry with you, you know you’ve done the right thing.
You are remakable, Lady Julia.
I respect you greatly for your being, your honesty, and the caring kindness you share with all.
Sincerely,
willie
I have never read anything by you that claims your way is better than anyone else. I am not sure why people would assume otherwise.
I do have some friends that take it personally if you don’t 100% agree with them. I think they are looking for validation of their ideas.
I think others are looking for you to validate their beliefs and preferences. When you don’t they take offense. I think that is why at times you get angry responses.
Wouldn’t it be dull if we all agreed and did the exact same things?
Mike
Lady Julia,
The anonymity of Internet seems to bring out the worse in some people. You can see it in many places where people can make comments anonymously – news articles, YouTube videos, blogs, etc.
Also, the Internet allows people that are rude to share their personality to a wider group. Before the Internet, a rude person would be known to only those in his/her local town. Now they can share their personality world-wide with just a mouse click.
I agree that adults should be able to disagree without being disagreeable. But many times people forget or don’t wish to act adult-like.
Will
I think that so many people respond ……. uhhhhh ………. “a bit too vigorously” …… to some of your posts is because they recognize, as do the rest of us, that you know a thing or two about what you are talking about and are well respected. In this way, rude comments are at times actually sort of indirect compliments attesting to your stature in this community.
Arafin