I finally located the Haven’s “Wake Up To Rape” Survey Report. A few excerpts:
There are many situations in which some people feel that a person should take responsibility for being raped. Over half (56%) of those surveyed think that there are some circumstances where a person should accept responsibility. Of those people the circumstances are:
- Performing another sexual act on them (73%)
- Getting into bed with a person (66%)
- Drinking to excess / blackout (64%)
- Going back to theirs for a drink (29%)
- Dressing provocatively (28%)
- Dancing in a sexy way with a man at a night club or bar (22%)
- Acting flirtatiously (21%)
- Kissing them (14%)
- Accepting a drink and engaging in a conversation at a bar (13%)
Women are less forgiving than men. They are more likely to think that a person should accept responsibility when:
- Performing another sexual act on them (75% vs. 70%)
- Getting into bed with a person (71% vs. 57%)
- Going back to theirs for a drink (35% vs. 19%)
- Dressing provocatively (31% vs. 23%)
- Dancing in a sexy way with a man at a night club or bar (23% vs. 19%)
- Accepting a drink and engaging in a conversation at a bar (15% vs. 11%)
Just curious – when you refer to “responsibility”, whether some or total, what do you mean? It’s her fault? She deserved it? She should have anticipated that she would be raped? She contributed to the situation?
No related posts.
Everyone has the right to change their mind about something.
Accepting that, the circumstances leading up to the “No” are not relevant. I have never had a problem identifying a “Real No” from a “Playful No”. So I believe all responsibility and fault lays with the rapist. Either through lack of self control and/or lack of respect for the rights of the victim.
In my mind, alcohol or drugs in the mix don’t change the above.
Maybe too “Black and White” but I think it’s that simple.
Different of course, when consent is clearly there and then rape is alledged later because of regret or some other reason.
What I mean: she stepped into a dangerous situation and should have known better, should have taken some responsibility for her own safety.
I don’t believe a woman is at fault for being raped: that’s entirely the fault of the rapist.
I do, however, believe that a woman who steps into a dangerous situation was foolish and should have known better. An appropriate punishment, however, is receiving an “are you an idiot?” lecture.
There are jerks in the world. That is a given. And those jerks should be held accountable for their actions. But because there are jerks, people should also take responsibility for their own protection.
About those statistics — how the question is asked can entirely change the nature of the answers. If the question is asked with the phrase “partly responsible” that’s a lot different than “fully responsible” or anything else that implies the guy involved shouldn’t be laid out on an ant hill and have honey poured in delicate places.
Even phrases like “dressing provocatively” or “dancing in a sexy way” can mean different things to different people. And different people have different ideas of what “partly responsible” means.
I wouldn’t get too worked up over these statistics unless they’re used to excuse the man involved. I don’t believe the statistics above in any way absolve the man of his guilt.
Any type of assault is the fault of the attacker. No exceptions. There is no excuse. This has nothing to do with male and female. No one should be assaulted sexually, physically or verbally. No exceptions. No one should take blame for being assaulted.
I would say that we are responsible for our own safety. We should all act in a safe manner. If I go into a bad neighborhood and get robbed and beaten, I am not being smart. It is not my fault for being beaten though. The people who attacked me should be tried and convicted for breaking the law.
I feel the same way about any type of assault including sexual. The fault is with the attacker and they should be tried and punished accordingly.
Mike
Regarding the core of rape issues. I am always amazed at the way Women are treated in society, even by those educated and enlightened men and Women themselves. Take for example, web sites and tumblr blogs which feature both men and Women in various themes. Ninety percent of these, even those run by Women feature endless photographs of submissive Women, even being sub to other Women and certainly men. The imbalance is staggering. Only MaleSubmissionArt.com and cuckyboi.tumblr.com/ reverse this trend and show men in submission to Women on a frequent basis. Often, the blogs have harsh treatment of Women, far greater than those offered on male submission blogs. I would submit that while many Women need to be submissive by their nature, just as large of percentage of men do as well. Frankly, most men would be better off if they would embrace Women as a superior or equal beings and allow them to flourish with dominion over them.
As an extremely virile and confident man, but submissive to my Wife, I find the entire essence of this appalling. I find no shame in my submissive demeanor and I hold my Wife to be equal to or superior to me in almost all categories. Women who are FedDom strong are very desirable and can have just about anything they desire, including the most accomplished of Alpha men, when they so choose. We are Alpha primarily for the benefit of protecting Women, not exploiting them, certainly not trying to take from them what is not or will ever be ours.
Strong and beautiful Women should be respected, cherished, honored and adored in our society. Their independence and autonomy should be celebrated and nourished. They should never be prayed upon or harmed, mistreated or dishonored by any man or other Woman. I am very proud to be submissive to my Wife and will continue to cherish the opportunity she has given me and perform the tasks and tribulations she deems appropriate… Men should be saddened and tearful for any Woman who is raped or experienced the ruinous arts of wicked men.
michael
Every woman should be cherished and adored, not just strong and beautiful women. Not being nit-picky but I think that’s an important distinction because we are constantly bombarded with the fallacy that a woman is only valuable if she is young and beautiful.
I agree that rapists are 100 percent responsible for their crimes.