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Orgasm Control: Can Men Be Trusted Not To Masturbate?

May 28th, 2009

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I’ve posted a new (and relatively short) article on my website regarding orgasm control and chastity devices.   Your comments are welcome.

No related posts.

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 28th, 2009 at 10:20 pm and is filed under Femdom, Orgasm Control, male submission. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

10 Responses to “Orgasm Control: Can Men Be Trusted Not To Masturbate?”

  1. Free Thinking Writer says:
    May 28, 2009 at 10:59 pm

    Hello, Lady Julia.

    I agree with your article.

    When someone suggests that their loved partner can’t be trusted to keep a promise, I’m left wondering.

    -Does the person just have lousy taste in partners?
    -Or does the person not actually encourage trust?
    -Or maybe even encourages distrust?
    -Or maybe the person doesn’t actually have serious, loving relationships that start first and foremost with friendship and trust.
    -Or finally, perhaps the person himself is just not trustworthy and is projecting on everyone else.

    There can certainly be some deep psychological questions one could ask, going into quite a bit of analysis. Maybe the person speaking is male and doesn’t want to be trusted, because that would then require self-control. You know, it’s such a *bother*. So much easier to make someone else take responsibility for his acts.

    I’m not accusing, I’m just pointing out possibilities.

    When a man promises to his woman, she should be able to trust him to keep it. If she can’t, what is she doing with him? If he can’t keep this promise, then clearly he can’t keep any. This one isn’t that hard.

  2. nigel says:
    May 28, 2009 at 11:22 pm

    Discipline and Punishment; and the birth of the prison offer an interesting macro explanation for this expression of power and force.

  3. wandering says:
    May 29, 2009 at 5:34 am

    I can say, based upon experience, that the honor system works. The fact that it is a struggle to obey makes the compliance that much more delicious.

  4. mikecb says:
    May 29, 2009 at 6:54 am

    As someone DEEPLY into the chastity fetish, I can say that for me the thrill of chastity play is equal parts denial, and bondage. I’ve done self-imposed stints of chastity that lasted for months without a device. I honestly think that if I was in a D/s situation with my wife, I could use the honor system. Still, that wouldn’t “scratch the itch” for me as much as actually wearing the device.

    Having to deal with things like sitting in the mens room EVERY time.. hiding myself in the locker room at the gym.. all these things enhance both the bondage feeling, and also the eroticism of it. If my Wife was actually INTERESTED in it, it would also emphasize the D/s aspects to me as well. Knowing that I was risking humiliation and detection to please her is a turn-on.

    So, if chastity play is something for mutual satisfaction, I’d suggest that some of us subs get a great deal of joy not only from surrendering control of our orgasms, but also from spicy eroticism involved in the day to day issues of wearing the device as we live our otherwise vanilla lives.

    mikecb

  5. David says:
    June 1, 2009 at 12:05 pm

    If you cannot trust someone to be honest about their masturbation habits then you have to ask yourself what else he would lie about.

    Trust is important to me. I do not ever again want to be lied to by a partner. If I expect truthfulness I must be willing to give it.

  6. susans.pet says:
    June 1, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Can women be trusted not to masturbate?

    Why should men “not masturbate”?

    There is a large number of people who have the idea that masturbation is like sex outside of marriage. It is so only if you have set some rules against it and both of you agreed. Forced male or female chastity is a game, just like D/S. It can be fun, silly, and outrageous, but it is totally unnecessary.

  7. Lady Julia says:
    June 1, 2009 at 5:34 pm

    Susan’s Pet,

    I’m puzzled by your response.

    This post and the comments above supported the belief that some men could in fact be trusted not to masturbate. The subject was “orgasm control” so the issue was whether or not men could be trusted not to masturbate *when they had agreed to surrender control of their orgasms to a Domme*.

    No one was suggesting that masturbation was wrong and most definitely no one suggested that chastity should be forced.

  8. billy says:
    August 18, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    As You said Lady Julia You should be able to trust Your submissive but i do think the idea of playing with a chastity device occasionally would be nice for both concerned.

  9. loyola says:
    September 10, 2009 at 10:28 pm

    i would love for my Wife to use a chastity device on me, but i think She knows when i’ve “had relief” or not anyways. i love being denied orgasms while having sex with Her and having Her get off. my pleasure is Her getting the pleasure. Goddess must be satisfied at all times. i cherish Her pussy even more when i’m not allowed orgasm.

  10. Texan says:
    October 9, 2010 at 6:49 pm

    For me, giving up pleasure represents a sacrifice – so giving up masturbation, or letting someone else control when/where/etc, is a sacrifice to/for them. If it is easy to do, it isn’t much of a sacrifice, in my book. It’s the fact that it’s difficult to do, that I may be constantly tempted, and that I must find a way to resist that temptation, that makes it worthwhile and meaningful. I’m not saying that there is no benefit to being locked up, but the benefit is not the mental and/or physical discipline of adhering to another’s directions.

    Honesty is a requirement for any relationship of any type. If when or if a person masturbates is not central to that relationship, then it just doesn’t matter. However, if the focal point of the relationship is the control and denial of sexual release, then that honesty must extend to that area as well. If it doesn’t, then the relationship is built upon a lie.

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