Yes! When you put it that way you and I are on exactly the same page! ;-)

Best

hmp

This is my primary problem. I think most of us here would agree with most of your comment without question. However, I also think that most of us here are talking about pro doms who use their profession as an excuse to dictate  unsolicited  unwelcome disrespectful advice. By far the bulk of the advice I’ve had from pro doms, as exemplified beautifully in these comments, has been entirely unsolicited, unwanted, and unnecessary. Furthermore, this unsolicited advice is almost always unwelcome due to it being phrased disrespectfully and One-True-Way-y.

So let’s start with the assumption that unsolicited orders dressed up as advice from uninvited dictators is inappropriate, unwelcome, and rude, and that this applies to all human beings, and I hope we can all agree to that. :)

I really enjoyed your post. Well said. I guess there is a reason Baskin-Robbins makes 31 flavors of ice cream.

Mike

You make some good points here. I think the key is summed up by your final sentence; “that’s about as much credence as I’m prepared to offer without further information on them as a human being.” Prodommes are people and usually quite unique as individuals. Some of them (usually those that have been around for many years) are extremely intelligent and together. Others are walking disaster areas with serious emotional disorders. So lets start with the assumption that the pro we would ask for advice is a person who has some solid experience, integrity, intelligence and is not a drug addict or suffering from a mental disorder. You would be surprised. That actually separates out quite a few! ;-)

Certainly I think you could pick up tips on advanced bondage ties, how to use a single tail whip without causing permanent damage, play piercing, permanent piercing, branding, electrical play, all the heavier BDSM activities that require some training before one can play in a safe sane and consensual manner. Some of the truly great Dommes might also be able to provide keen insights into the way the mind of a submissive male works. (Hey don’t knock it! I’ve been trying to figure out the way my mind works for years!) Some of the pros (though certainly not all) are also lifestyle players and could probably provide good advice about the kinky social scene to someone who was not familiar with it. I might not be inclined, however, to ask pros about personal relationships as many of them struggle with those. In fact many a pro has a personal life that somewhat resembles a train wreck.

I hope I have clarified my earlier posts somewhat. Lovely speaking with you.

Best

hmp

I wouldn’t consider relationship advice from a prostitute just because they were a prostitute, any more than I would consider relationship advice from a pro dom just because they were a pro dom. And in general, I disregard all advice from the self-absorbed who choose to dictate their way as the only way.

Having said that, I’m sure I’d be delighted to consider advice from a pro dom on their favourite way to use a paddle, or from a prostitute on their favourite way to receive and give oral sex. But that’s about as much credence as I’m prepared to offer without further information on them as a human being.

So there. :)

Frequently it seems there is a hostility between the lifestyle and pro community which seems a shame. There are good people and buffoons in both camps. Speaking for myself I have found happiness serving at the feet of my Queen. For me a lifestyle relationship definitely makes the most sense because I am fortunate enough to have found true love. Combined with D/s that is pretty much impossible to beat. But part of my journey of self discovery was with a pro. I could never have reached the place I am now without having experienced that along the way.

Respectfully

hmp

My issue is with those who profess to be the final word on anything simply because they get paid to do it and have been doing it for years. There are people (doctors for example) who are literally experts in their field with massive amounts of education and a string of letters after their name who have been practicing for years yet don’t have the final word on some things. I trust some more than others, but I still listen and make my own judgment no matter who is telling me something. And yes, I get it wrong sometimes, too.

I also take issue with people who profess their way is the only way and that they know what everyone else needs. No one knows for certain what I need except me. Sometimes I don’t even know and it takes work to find out.

No one knows everything and few people know nothing. I try to listen and take from conversations what seems reasonable. That said, how the information is presented does impact on the number of people who hear.

I was very amused by the last post. It was very funny. But in truth when you fill out a questionnaire for a pro you are merely letting the domme know what your interests are to establish compatibility. What she does with that info is up to her. Very few pros are going to give you exactly what you want just how you say you want it. Not the good ones anyway. The good ones will make it their business to delve deep and find out what you really NEED. Then they rope you in and keep you coming back for more! ;-)

Their are many different kinds of pros out there just like their are many different types of shrinks, doctors and dentists. It’s a mistake to lump them all together and say they are all alike. They have a lot of things they can teach some of the lifestyle folks out there.

Just my two cents of course! ;-)

Respectfully,

hmp

I call bullshit.

I didn’t actually know we were allowed to call bullshit on this site but Richard did so I am too.

Also, If we can call bullshit I have a list of other comments I’d like to go back and call bullshit on.

Basically a retro bullshit.

Anyway, a while back I actually looked into becoming a professional dominatrix as an at home business opportunity along with medical transcription, refrigeration repair and pet grooming so I know of what I speak.

These women have detailed questionnaires about what their clients would like to experience. They’re more about happy customers than being dominant. The guys with the cash are really the ones calling the shots.

“Whip me harder damnit!”

Sadly start up costs on a dungeon are crazy and I’m actually making a decent living taking online surveys 8-10 hours a day.