Sensing what does make you smile as you choose what it is you want is a simple gift shared, and in not any way purely selfish, I sense. And for the one with whom you share your wishes, it’s an honor received.

Respectfully,
willie owen

Grey Owl – you’re too sweet.

I don’t know either of you so I can’t really advise you other than suggesting that you really tell him how you feel about all this and explain what you believe you can do. Perhaps if he is patient, understanding, and encouraging, your comfort level will grow a little. Mine has changed a lot over the last 2-3 years. I don’t think it would have if I’d been pressured.

Well… I can’t say it’s my thing, but a lot of my reaction depends on the reaction of my partner. For some things, it’s about controlling his pleasure, not the act. For some things, it’s both :)

I can share some of the things I’ve done, but I’m not sure how well they would fit. For something to work, you sort of have to know your audience so to speak. Does that make sense?

If you’re not able to function on your own to make any decisions or to accept any responsibility then I suppose you do need a Domme to hold your hand and guide you every step of the way. That’s not something that appeals to me and I really don’t think it does most women.

For me I think that is true. Certainly when my father was dying I wasn’t the same as I was a year before that. I needed him to be ok with me crying, feeling sad, needing comforting. And he was. Sometimes when his job got really stressful, he needed me to be more directive than I usually am. We didn’t have a static relationship. I don’t know that any can.

I would think that if he’s not doing something you would like him to do that this is where the game begins. This is a prime target for manipulating him sexually and emotionally not just into doing the task, but into wanting to do the task, at first perhaps because of the very tangible reward, but ultimately because he receives pleasure from the task for the sole reason that is serving you and pleases you.

Of course, relationships being relationships, sometimes things are off limits to the BDSM aspect of the relationship, but what she is describing in her post transcends a S/m relationship. A lot of relationships have trouble achieving a balance of responsibilities between the partners.

Thank You …!!