Recently Jake asked,
Do you think you could give more examples of what you do when you dominate? I’m not trying to get personal I only want something that my wife could get ideas from.
I’m always hesitant about responding to things like this because I don’t want to give advice. What works for me works for me; it won’t necessarily work for someone else. What I do with one person might not be the same thing I would do with another. It’s about knowing your audience and yourself, isn’t it? :)
With that caveat, I don’t mind talking about a few things that have been effective for me with the thought that it might stir ideas for someone else.
One of the things that pushes so many submissive men’s buttons is orgasm control. There are many ways to achieve this. Some are simple. Some are very.. shall we say… long term. Quite often I find that I really enjoy a brief period of tease and denial. It’s very sexy for him and for me.
Text messaging and email are great tools for teasing and giving instructions. The messages don’t have to be complex – in fact, they can be quite simple. Much of it is in the timing. My friend John is sharing a meal with his friends as I write this. He knows how playful I like to be in public places and how I enjoy seeing a man squirm a bit from excitement. I just sent a text message to him saying,
Wouldn’t it be exciting if I were sitting beside you? The whole time you would be wondering if and when my hand would drop down to my lap and then move to touch you.
I can just imagine how he reacted when he read it. Miles away, yet controlled. He won’t be able to get that out of his mind for the rest of the meal. Simple, yet hot (at least to me – I love teasing.)
Emails offer the opportunity for more detailed teasing and directions.
Subject: Read This Email When You Are At Home
When you receive this email I want you to stop everything, go into the bedroom, and take off all your clothes. No, don’t do it hurriedly. Slowly, my pet – as if you were stripping for me.
Once you’re naked, kneel beside your bed for me. You know how much I love it when you are naked and kneeling. Mmm.
Begin stroking, slowly teasing. Tease yourself as I would. As you do as I have requested, think of me. My hand controlling you, my hand teasing you, my hand bringing you all the way to the edge. Slowing down again, then bringing yourself to the edge once more. Three times to the edge. No more, no less.
You didn’t think I would allow you to release today, did you? :)
I merely wanted a nice little tease session. Something for me to think about while I’m busy working. You know how much I will enjoy this, don’t you? How my body will react.. just as it always does when I think of how much I enjoy controlling you.
You can do this for me, can’t you? Yes, of course you can.
This one I’ll save for a friend who is ill right now. When he’s feeling a bit better, I’ll send it to him. Of course, he reads my blog and he knows this will be arriving. He’s just not sure when. I’m sure the anticipation will be quite pleasant…
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