The folks at Apple have outdone themselves with their latest IPhone application, the Passion. No longer will you have to wonder how well you are doing in bed – just strap on the IPhone and let the phones motion sensors and microphone work together to rate your performance.
According to US Post Today:
Users simply start the programme, strap the phone to their arm or belt, and press ’stop’ when lovemaking is over.
The programme then gives a rating from ‘bad’ to ‘perfect’ on three criteria – duration, activity, and orgasm.
Duration is monitored by the phone’s timer, activity through the ‘accelerometer’ motion sensor, and orgasm via the microphone.
All the readings are combined to created a score out of 10.
Users can then go online to upload the score and compare themselves against others who have done the same.
That eliminates the need for all that pesky communication, now doesn’t it?
No related posts.
Well, it would eliminate the discussion. “My god, can’t you last longer than that?” “What are you talking about? That was a good 25 minutes?” “Try again, Energizer, your iPhone says 4.”
Well, this application doesn’t have anything to do with the folks at Apple (except running on their hardware and being “accepted” on their store), but indeed it’s quite impressive (I’d rather not know how many people will buy it!!!).
One drawback however : there’s only one mark for the two lovers, so it might be tricky to use it *against* your partner ;)
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Oh-oh. Can a reality TV show be far behind? ‘The Biggest Lover’? ‘Rock Of Love iPod’? ‘The Bachelorette, iPod Edition?’ (We will perhaps be spared the last of these, mercifully, until Apple can produce an iPod that will work in a hot tub.)
Adds a whole new meaning to strap-on play.
I guess this gives new meaning to the term “phoning it in”.
Will